Actual quotes from Supernatural:

winchester11:

Sam: I’ve got genital herpes
Dean: Fight the fairies
Castiel: I’ll interrogate the cat
Lucifer: Stupid Satan
Dean: Death is our bitch
Sam: What kind of a house doesn’t have salt? Low sodium freaks
Dean: I’m Batman
Crowley: Dean Winchester completes me
Sam: I lost my shoe
Ed: Gay love can pierce trough the veil of death and save the day
Castiel: Assbutt
Dean: Pretend he has boobs
Death: Don’t roll your eyes Dean, it’s impolite
Dean: He was my gay thing
Crowley: No one in the history of torture’s been tortured with torture like the torture you’ll be tortured with
Sam: You punched a cupid
Kevin: ‘Cause I’m Kevin freaking Solo
Charlie: I was drunk, it was comic con
Crowley: I can’t wait to see Sam in stilettos and a leather bustier
Castiel: I learned that from the pizza man
Dean: You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja angel?
Gabriel: Lucifer, you are my brother and I love you, but you are a great big bag of dicks
Crowley: The boys need Cas to get Dick
Dean: You know what?! Blow me Cas
Dean: Sammy, I get all tingly when you take control like that
Sam: If there’s a key, there must be a lock
Crowley: I was an attractive child, I could juggle. I was worth five pigs at least
Sam: I think the fourth kind is a butt thing
Lucifer: Hi Sam. Long time, no spooning
Rowena: I’m over 300 years. Beauty sleep isn’t optional
Balthazar: This morning I had a ménage à… What’s the french for 12?
Castiel: How important is lipstick to you, Dean?
Death: I suppose I can stay. I like the pizza
God: Writing is hard